Shut Up Tim

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A playlist for the end of the world.

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We’ve got it so good. Everything on-demand from virtual sex to real food. Emperors of old could never dream of the lives we privileged millennials live. It’s all too good to be true and yet here we are complaining to each other about shit so mundane I can’t actually think of a funny punchline for this. The only remedy to all this boring easy living is a new villain. Mine is self-diagnosed depression. The kind that I’m not sure is real or not. Don’t start worrying it’s just a little bit of apathy layered in legitimate concern for what humans are collectively doing to the only place they can live in for the next 100 lightyears. No Biggie. Shit, I should probably add a few of his bops to the list. When I get to the other side of one of my vanilla dips into self-loathing I often find myself listening to this playlist. I’m fortunate enough to have been happy enough to think: “Wow.. the world could end right now and I really wouldn’t mind”. It’s a thought that has occurred to me more than once. The last time those thoughts slipped into my mind I was sitting on the side of a mountain in Clarens picturing a huge fireball of space debris heading straight for me. A fitting end to a brief but fun existence. Then I panicked. What song would I choose if I had time for only one more? There’s too much to choose from and ultimately it means nothing….

Fuck it. If I can’t choose one song I’ll make sure I’m listening to great music all the time so the last one I hear at least has meaning for me.

I wish this playlist actually could be played while the world ends but I doubt the Spotify servers would survive the apocalypse. Just to be sure you should hit the download button and save it all to your phone.

Here it is. A Playlist For The End Of The World

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The musician’s fight for your attention span (part 1)

SHUT-UP-TIM

When last have you selected an album from your music collection, chosen the first song, sat down and only listened to the music? Many of the people I’ve asked can’t remember the last time they did that. Some say that they don’t ever take the time to take in an album in it’s fullness without distraction. It’s not really a surprise. Our world is filled with all sorts of distractions and responsibilities. When people listen to music they are giving up precious time to hear it. It’s possible that this is influencing the way budding artists are releasing their works.

There’s a lot you can get done in the time it takes to listen to “Shine On You Crazy Diamond” by Pink Floyd: Text a crazy ex you were reminded of for some reason, make a paper crane, check your Facebook 5 times, drive to your local shrooms dealer, read halfway through “The Little Prince”, argue with your roommate over the significance of Syd Barrett in Pink Floyd…. The list goes on and on.

So who doesn’t listen to music and do something else at the same time? Even I multi-task while indulging in my sonic addiction. It’s not a crime to read a good book or drive to your destination of choice with your own personal sound track. Music is an enhancement of your surroundings, it fuels the feelings and memories you experience. Like smelling the perfume your old flame used to wear, music is a bookmark in your book of experiences.

Unfortunately, some people don’t think of music as an inspiration catalyst. Those people are the ones pushing in front of you at an MGMT concert only to take selfies and shout over the music to their friend about meaningless lists of the drinks they consumed or when last they saw Game Of Thrones. Those kinds of people also probably complained about MGMT’s stage presence because they don’t understand the goal of that kind of music. If I was having a conversation with a member of a band I hold in high regard I’d shut the fuck up and listen when he/she speaks. One would think that manners of that kind would translate to a crowd keeping quiet while a particularly dynamic band like MGMT is playing. Unfortunately the reality of putting more than a thousand drunk/high people in one place is that there will be noise and cultural indifference. Perhaps this is why Jack White doesn’t like playing festival gigs.

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I’d write a listicle but…

15. I cant count.

2. This is ironic.

3. *Sweeping statement*.

4. *Generalisation*.

5. Look at me I can write like Elite Classism…uh, I mean Elite Daily.

6. I hate guessing how many points it takes to bore you.

7. I can’t find a picture of an inherently privileged good looking couple.

8. I don’t like giving my sex secrets away.

9. This has nothing to do with music.

10. Uhhhh…….. *Generalisation AND Sweeping statement*.

11. *Stupid anecdote.*

 

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The musician you can trust is one who tracks it all live.

No one likes that girl who you cant give a solid pat on the back without a cloud of makeup consuming the whole room…. Okay maybe some do, but those people probably know that girl for the intelligence and personality buried under inches of base and racism. Can you feel the dislike welling up for this fictional character welling up inside you? Do you feel sorry for base face? Think of that girl as a song or a band you have found online. They have the marketing, the top class recording and the radio play but when you finally see them live it’s as disappointing as coming home to find your housemate has eaten your leftover pizza. It’s a common error in our age of post production genius and technology: Raising expectations that tower over reality. This brings me to our throwback of the week by Buddy Miles.

I lost myself to the funky blues of this track more than 6 times today. It’s just so groovy. There’s so much skill in the playing of every single instrument you hear. My favourite part about this track is that it’s clearly been played live, as in all the musicians played at the same time. If one musician made a big mistake they’d have had to start the song all over again from the beginning. There weren’t computer programs to fix things after recording. What you hear is what you get. All that skill and groove came out in one beautiful take.

 

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How to politely tell someone you don’t like their music.

*disclaimer* If someone plays you music by Pitbull you are allowed to tell them to fuck off. Okay? Sweet, here we go…

Resist the urge to fully explain why your soul shrivels every time to hear said song/artist/’unfinished production’.

Even if it’s a lie/half-truth; tell the person what you like about it. Avoid making the half-ass compliment into a disguised insult.
Wrong: “I like how you made that guitar sound so dissonant, dude…. OH that’s just your playing style… right.”
Right: “I like that one sound that happened just there” (when in doubt use ambiguity)

Then drop the hint that you’re not into it. Be gentle.
Wrong: “Dude this song makes me feel like Mugabe is taking a dump in my ear.”
Right: “This isn’t really my style hey.”

If they try and show you another song in the same style to try and convert you, humour them. A quality of one who has taste in music is one who listens objectively. If someone tries to get you into Beck and you hate him because they showed you a song from ‘Stereopathic Soulmanure’ you missed out, man.

After you have been shown the music you now want to avoid forever, you can stop the aural torture by requesting to show your weird/commercially brainwashed friend some music that you like. It’s only fair.

 

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Breakup music – Happy or Sad?

All clichés, things, relationships, holidays, tours and lives come to an end. Even your favourite song has to end. The beauty of music is that it can be played again… and again… and again… and again… until you realise you’ve been listening to the same soppy, nostalgic refrain for a day/week/month. I’ve noticed how utterly different it is listening to music in a new state of mind. Your favourite happy song can become annoying, Eagles Of Death Metal turns innocent (sexual frustration ain’t nothin’ but a thang), your Like Clockwork album doesn’t seem as dark as it was initially and it starts describing your entire being. At least that’s how I think of it.

I feel like it’s important to embrace the emotion that amplifies your musical experience. If your favourite song starts speaking loudly to your heart/mindset it means you’re getting clues about where your head is at. Sometimes it’s the only way I know there is something truly wrong or right going on in my mind. More importantly, it makes me feel alive and coherent. The music that hits home hardest is like an emotional intelligence boost. If I feel sad or angry I would much rather have a clear understanding of where those emotions come from. Instead of stumbling around blind and alone in the emotionally dark places that we all inevitably find ourselves in, we can find a friend and a guide in the music that feeds off our emotion. It shines a harsh light on the problems you’re avoiding and forces you to start accepting reality and deal with the problem. The best part about accepting reality is moving forward to the place where happier music starts driving you and inspiring you again.

So what music should you listen to when you’re newly single? It depends on how you feel about it. Just don’t be scared of the music that shows you where you went wrong. Embrace the catharsis, identify with your favourite artist and let the music flow even when it harmonises with your adversity.

With that said, here’s some blues for your Monday. Enjoy your week, lovers.

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Between Zero and One with Jojo Mayer

Anyone who’s a drumming fundi will know who Jojo Mayer is. He’s the drummer for that trippy band Nerve which pretty much rides on his insane chops. Between Zero and One is a short film inspired by his TEDX talk. To be honest, he says a lot of nothing in this video. The idea he starts conveying sounds like it has potential but he never really elaborates on what this place between the binary yes and no means. The idea is a lot more romantic to music purists who can project their own meaning on the idea. Which is why I was drawn in by the video. The main reason I kept watching was the drumming performance. He’s a machine. Anyone can appreciate those chops. Damn. I need to go practice.

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Whiplash

I posted a rather rash and harsh status on Facebook the other day about the critically acclaimed movie Whiplash. I got quite a heavy backlash from my friends for my negative review because I didn’t look up the facts. “Don’t make a movie about drumming if your lead actor can’t drum for shit” was my socially retarded rant. I was wrong because Miles Teller is in fact a great drummer. What led me to believe that he couldn’t play was the discrepancies in what I heard and what I was seeing on the screen. It’s no wonder because the drumming in the soundtrack is utterly insane. It’s the kind of drumming that anyone can appreciate as difficult on a master’s level. Still, I thought the veil of movie magic could have been thicker and that’s just my shitty opinion, okay?!

The drummer Antonio Sanches (he did the soundtrack of Birdman) said it best for me in his interview with Giles Peterson:

“…I have mixed feelings. As a drummer, I didn’t like it too much. As a regular filmgoer that wouldn’t know anything about drums it’s a good movie… to me it’s more like a sports film with an athlete and a coach more than a music student and a teacher. I mean I understand you have to dramatise stuff. Probably if I was a lawyer and I saw ‘The Firm’ I would be like ‘oh come on, thats not real’. But I think the thing that I liked the least about it is that at no point in the film I saw any joy from anybody playing music. That totally defeats the purpose of playing music, so if it’s all tension and anxiety it’s not a very good message if you want to get people into Jazz.”

So if you like tension, drama, good soundtracks, good acting and thrillers, watch whiplash. If you’re looking for a beautiful representation of the Jazz industry, you’re better off watching an old Glenn Miller video.

 

 

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Why its okay to like weird music – Part 3

Have you ever wondered what someone from 1940 would think of the present? The popular music alone would make our time travelling friend mad with wonder. It’s perfectly normal to think that I can record a video of myself and send it to the other side of the world within a day (maybe being a little optimistic about South African internet speeds) but 75 years ago this would be deemed near impossible/downright weird. We can see a very thin line between innovation and craziness in the world of weird things.

It’s plain to see that those who innovated were alienated/just plain ignored. AC inventor Nicola Tesla was literally driven to madness by everyone’s refusal to see his brilliance. Bach was only recognised as a composer after he died. So if people look at you like you’re an alien it’s probably because you’re ahead of the times… or you’re trying to bring back heelys and it’s not working out.

Weirdness is a grey area with a minefield of “no! just no, dude” on top of “I heard it before it was cool/in the latest FIFA sound track”. Prepare to be shunned, pseudo-hipsters. Stay strong and please try to avoid the “before it was cool” line. You’ll just sound like a sore loser trying to keep cool shit to yourself. We love you for enduring the weirdness war zone for us though. At least I do anyway…

 

 

 

 

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